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When Scripture and Culture Disagree

Recently I posted a statement on Facebook concerning homosexuality and same-sex relationships. I made it clear that, based upon my understanding of Scripture, I cannot affirm same-sex sexual relationships as morally acceptable before God.

The response surprised me.

Not because people disagreed with me. I expect disagreement on a subject like this.

What surprised me was the way Scripture itself was sometimes handled in order to make the disagreement work.

That concerns me far beyond the subject of homosexuality.

The larger question is this:

When what I want to believe conflicts with what Scripture teaches, which one am I willing to change?

Was Lilith Adam's First Wife?

One person who identified himself as a Christian challenged my argument by telling me that Adam had another wife before Eve.

Her name, he said, was Lilith.

I had never heard that taught from Scripture.

So I looked into it.

There is indeed an ancient tradition concerning a figure named Lilith, and later Jewish folklore eventually developed a story in which she became Adam's first wife. According to that tradition, she was created from the earth like Adam and later left him.

But there is an important distinction that must be made.

That story is not found in the Genesis account.

The Hebrew word lilith does occur in Isaiah 34:14, where translations render the term in different ways. Some transliterate the word as Lilith, while others translate it as something like a night creature or night bird.

But Isaiah does not identify this figure as Adam's wife.

Genesis does not mention Adam having another wife before Eve.

The story of Lilith as Adam's first wife belongs to later tradition and folklore, not to the biblical creation narrative.

That distinction matters.

There is nothing wrong with studying ancient traditions. They can help us understand how people interpreted biblical texts at different periods in history.

But tradition should not be allowed to quietly become Scripture.

If I am trying to determine Christian doctrine, I need to know the difference between:

“The Bible says...”

and

“A later tradition says...”

Those are not the same thing.

Christians should be especially careful about this because we can easily criticize other people for changing Scripture while doing something very similar ourselves whenever a tradition supports what we already want to believe.

Scripture must remain the standard.

What About Free Will?

Another person took issue with Christianity itself.

One of his objections concerned free will.

His argument was essentially this:

If God gives human beings free will, why would He then judge someone for using that freedom—particularly when it concerns sexual desire?

That question deserves more consideration than simply dismissing it.

Christianity does teach human responsibility.

But freedom to make a choice does not mean that every possible choice becomes morally right.

If it did, morality would cease to have any real meaning.

The ability to choose something and the moral rightness of that choice are two different things.

Human beings can choose generosity or selfishness.

We can choose honesty or deception.

We can choose faithfulness or adultery.

We can choose forgiveness or revenge.

The fact that I possess the ability to make either choice does not make both choices equally good.

Free will does not mean:

“Whatever I choose becomes right because I chose it.”

It means that my choices have genuine moral significance.

And Scripture teaches that those choices also have consequences.

What About Desire?

The same distinction needs to be made concerning desire.

Someone might say:

“God created me. I experience this desire. Therefore God must approve of me acting upon it.”

I do not believe that conclusion necessarily follows.

And this principle is certainly not limited to homosexuality.

I cannot say:

“God created me, therefore everything I naturally desire must have been commanded by God.”

I experience desires that I should not act upon.

So does everyone else.

A married man might find another woman attractive.

He may not have consciously chosen the initial attraction.

But the existence of the attraction does not make adultery morally acceptable.

I might become extremely angry with someone.

I may not choose the first feeling of anger that enters my mind.

But that does not mean I have permission to nurture hatred or seek revenge.

The Christian moral question is therefore not simply:

“Did I choose to experience this desire?”

The more important question is:

“What should I do with this desire in light of what God has revealed?”

That applies to heterosexual desire.

It applies to same-sex desire.

It applies to greed.

It applies to pride.

It applies to anger.

And it applies to me.

The existence of a desire does not create moral authority.

Who Determines What Is Right?

This brings us to a much larger problem.

Just because I believe something is right or wrong does not make it right or wrong.

My feelings are real, but they are not the ultimate source of morality.

My opinions are real, but they are not the ultimate source of truth.

Within Christianity, God is the source of moral truth.

That means morality stands above me.

I do not get to rewrite adultery simply because adultery becomes personally convenient.

I do not get to redefine dishonesty because telling the truth becomes painful.

I do not get to make hatred righteous because I believe someone deserves it.

And I do not believe human sexuality becomes morally right or wrong simply because society changes its opinion about it.

That standard must apply equally.

Otherwise I am not really submitting myself to God.

I am simply using God to approve whatever I had already decided.

What Does Scripture Say About Marriage?

The Bible begins its picture of human marriage in Genesis.

God creates humanity male and female.

Genesis 2:24 describes a man leaving his father and mother and being joined to his wife, and the two becoming one flesh.

Jesus Himself returns to this passage in Matthew 19 when discussing marriage.

That is important to me.

The first biblical model is male and female.

Jesus points back to that same model.

Marriage customs themselves can change.

Wedding rings are traditions.

Marriage licenses are legal instruments.

Wedding ceremonies differ across cultures.

None of those things define the fundamental relationship.

The biblical pattern precedes all of them.

Throughout Scripture, marriage is consistently presented as a relationship between husband and wife.

I do not find a biblical example of a same-sex marriage being presented as God's design for marriage.

What About Same-Sex Sexual Conduct?

There are also passages that directly address same-sex sexual behavior.

Romans 1:26–27 is one of the most frequently discussed.

There are also relevant passages in Leviticus, 1 Corinthians, and 1 Timothy.

There are legitimate scholarly arguments concerning translation, historical setting, and the meanings of particular Greek and Hebrew words.

I do not believe Christians should be afraid of those discussions.

If a word has been misunderstood, I want to know.

If historical context changes how a passage should be understood, I want to understand that context.

If someone can demonstrate that I have incorrectly interpreted Scripture, then I should be willing to listen.

But scholarship should help us discover what Scripture means.

It should not become a tool for forcing Scripture to say what we have already decided it must say.

After considering the larger biblical pattern—creation, marriage, Jesus' teaching, and the New Testament treatment of sexual morality—I remain convinced that same-sex sexual relations fall outside the sexual boundaries established in Scripture.

Someone else may reach a different conclusion.

But my disagreement with that person does not require hatred.

Does God Send Gay People to Hell?

This question is often framed badly.

Christianity does not teach that there are two groups of people:

Gay sinners who need salvation,

and heterosexual people who do not.

There is one group.

Sinners.

Romans 3:23 says that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

That includes me.

Christianity teaches both divine judgment and human responsibility, but it also teaches something even more important:

God has provided a way of reconciliation through Jesus Christ.

That invitation is not reserved for people who have committed certain respectable sins.

Christ came for sinners.

The adulterer needs Him.

The liar needs Him.

The thief needs Him.

The sexually immoral need Him.

The proud need Him.

The hateful need Him.

I need Him.

A gay person does not stand in some separate category of humanity beyond God's grace.

The Gospel is offered to all.

Does Disagreement Equal Hatred?

One of the most difficult changes in our culture has been the increasing assumption that refusing to affirm someone's belief or behavior means that we hate that person.

I reject that idea.

A person can believe that my Christianity is completely wrong without hating me.

Likewise, I can believe that a same-sex sexual relationship is inconsistent with Scripture without hating the people involved.

Disagreement is not automatically hatred.

If a gay man tells me that he believes my interpretation of Scripture is mistaken, he has not necessarily attacked me.

And if I tell him that I believe his relationship falls outside biblical sexual ethics, I have not necessarily attacked him either.

The question is what we do next.

Do we insult one another?

Do we mock one another?

Do we threaten one another?

Do we treat someone as less human because he disagrees?

Christians have no excuse for doing that.

Gay men and women are human beings created in the image of God.

They deserve dignity.

They deserve ordinary kindness.

They deserve the same basic respect I expect someone else to give me.

I can believe someone is wrong without believing that person is worthless.

Christians Must Examine Themselves Too

There is another side to this issue that Christians sometimes neglect.

We can become very vocal about homosexuality while remaining remarkably quiet about heterosexual sexual sin.

That is wrong.

Adultery does not become less sinful because the people involved are heterosexual.

Pornography does not become acceptable because the person watching it condemns homosexuality.

Sex outside of marriage does not become righteous because it involves a man and woman.

Neither does hatred, greed, pride, dishonesty, cruelty, or hypocrisy disappear simply because someone has correct theology about marriage.

The same Bible I use when discussing homosexuality also stands over me.

If I am unwilling to allow Scripture to expose my own sins, then I have no business using it merely to expose someone else's.

Truth Does Not Evolve With Public Opinion

Culture changes constantly.

Political positions change.

Public opinion changes.

Words change.

Social expectations change.

I change.

But Christianity claims that God's truth does not become true or false according to public opinion.

That does not mean Christians always interpret Scripture correctly.

We don't.

We must study.

We must listen.

We must correct ourselves when evidence demonstrates that we have misunderstood something.

But there is an enormous difference between improving our understanding of Scripture and changing Scripture's meaning because its teaching has become unpopular.

That is where I choose to stand.

Not because I believe I am morally superior to anyone else.

I am not.

Not because I hate gay people.

I do not.

Not because I think homosexual sin somehow places someone beyond God's grace.

It does not.

I stand there because I believe Scripture must be permitted to judge me before I presume to judge Scripture.

If God's Word tells me something I do not want to hear, the first question should not be:

“How can I make this mean something else?”

The first question should be:

“Could I be the one who needs to change?”

That question belongs to everyone.

It belongs to the gay person.

It belongs to the heterosexual person.

It belongs to the pastor.

It belongs to the skeptic.

And it belongs to me.

I do not expect everyone who reads this to agree with me.

But disagreement does not have to make us enemies.

You can sit across from me, tell me I am wrong, and still be treated with dignity.

I hope you would offer me the same courtesy.

Because ultimately this discussion is not about winning an argument on Facebook.

It is about something much larger.

Who gets to define truth?

For me, the answer cannot ultimately be culture, politics, feelings, desires, traditions, or even myself.

The final authority must be God.

And if I really believe that, then His Word must be allowed to correct me too.